I Am Not Afraid To Keep On Living
by writers-block1702
Summary: FRERARD FIC. Gerard just wanted to fit in. Why was that so difficult? And why did Mikey look so much like him?


Hey Guys! So I ship Frerard with everything i've got really, and im kind of new to wattpad so please go easy on me. Also im looking for some frerard to read so if anyones writing any, i'd be more than willing to check yours out:) Please bear in mind that i also write fanfiction, so updates will be sparse. Im also doing exams this year, and school comes first so im sorry if i dont update as often as i would have liked. Also, the name is lyrics from "Thank You For The Venom" by My Chemical Romance.

NB: I AM ALSO 'notpunkofu' ON WATTPAD AND I ALSO POST THIS STORY THERE, BUT I WANTED TO POST IT ON MY FANFICTION AS WELL. SO NO, NEITHER OF US ARE STEALING, WE ARE THE SAME PERSON.

As of tomorrow it will have been exactly 8 months. I miss them every day.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own My Chemical Romance, or Green Day, the plot is my own but that is it:)

Please remember to review and like please it would mean a lot.

_Give me a shot to remember, And it will take all the pain away from me_

_A kiss and i will surrender, The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead._

**Chapter One: Gerard POV**

Smoke.

It blurred my vision, as it swirled gently in front of my eyes. I observed it, taking in how it danced carelessly, not worrying about a thing. I watched as the particles disintegrated, distancing themselves before the formation disappeared completely, fading equally as quickly as it appeared. I tapped my converse gently as I took the concoction to my mouth once more, closing my eyes at the rush I got from it. I shivered as the sensation swept across my body, and then there it was again.

The smoke.

My converse tapped the floor gently to the beat of the song; I lifted my head at the small black stereo I had sat next to me. I smiled as my ears were soon filled with the sound of Green Day. I took my final puff of the device before throwing it casually to the floor, underneath my foot, which was subconsciously beating to that of 'Welcome to Paradise'. I picked up the device next to me, pressing the off button regrettably. I ran a cold hand through my hair as I lifted myself up from the side of the track, swinging my legs away from the edge of the track.

Don't worry, I wouldn't have actually done it.

Not today at least.

I felt something tap my shoulder. There was no way it was a person, no one would come looking looking for me anyway. I looked up at the sky, the clouds that caged me into this world. They mock me almost, just a reminder that I'm stuck here. In this town, with these ignorant people.

I turned, but checked the time before I left. _8:50. _I have 10 minutes to walk to school, I mean, I probably could if I wanted to. But I simply don't; so I will be fashionably late if you will. I pulled my hood up over my head, trying my hardest to shield the remainder of my face that was visible with my grease ridden hair. I placed the radio into my book bag and got out another cigarette in the process, lighting it quickly, and slipping it into my mouth, holding it between my teeth before giving my journey to hell – I...I mean school.

My book bag slapped against my thigh as I walked, the radio smashing around inside as I did so, but to be honest, I was too nervous to care. You see, today was my first day at a new school, and my nerve level was pretty much off the scale. What if they treated me the same as they did…back there?

I shook my head, I can't think this way. I need to think positively if I'm going to make it through the first day.

"They're animals, and you have simultaneously joined a 'survival of the fittest' way of life." Jason had said. "They feed on your weakness; take pleasure in causing you pain. You have got to be careful if you want to make it through. Inconspicuosity is the key."

'Yes' I had thought, 'because I am going to turn up to a new school dressed as a fucking fairy.'

But being the dishonest guy that I was, I kept my mouth shut and nodded my head.

Speaking of which, how long had it been since I had seen Jason? Two, three days? I wonder if I'm just another patient to him; if I'm just another one of the insane lunatics that Jason had to deal with. Was I special? Somehow, my feet had been on autopilot during my deep thoughts, and had guided me toward the school gates directly. I gulped deep, trying to remember everything Jason had told me about fitting in. I put his words onto a record and set it up on to repeat in the record player in my mind. I pushed myself forward, walking my way through the halls anxiously; my head hanging lower than my confidence. I gazed up, not really having to seeing as my height already proceeded that of pretty much all the other kids here. I checked the number written on my hand. _911: _my locker number. I examined the locker numbers next to me. _899, 901, 903. _I was getting close. I shuffled my way forward but stopped instantly as I heard a faint noise coming from the other side of the corridor, I could hear guitar, drums, and a voice.

A damn good one at that.

My eyes glistened and my jaw practically dropped to the floor as I heard their next song choice.

Green Day.

I attached my ear to the door, no longer caring who saw, due to being hypnotised by the sounds emerging from behind the wooden barrier.

_Do you have the time? _I heard a voice sing from inside. I smiled widely, as I looked through the door frame to see that they weren't looking towards the door.

I could go in and listen.

Wait, what about what Jason said? All that bullshit about fitting in? This could either be an opportune moment for me to make friends, or an equally as opportune moment to screw up the non-existent reputation that I already have. I'm fairly happy being invisible, but then again…

_Sometimes I give myself the creeps_

"Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me." I sang, pushing my palm into the surface and slowly but surely opening the door.

_It all keeps adding up…_

The door was now fully open, and I wanted to just hang back in the shadows. Sadly, my body had other ideas.

"I think I'm cracking up." I replied, I could now see all the guys stood in the room. The first one I noticed was the one on the drums, he had his eyes shut, as he beat the rhythm into the instrument in front of him, his dirty blonde fringe smashing into his forhead as he did so. There's also their guitarist, who's hair defied gravity as he moved his fingers swiftly up and down the frets. Then there was the guy on the bass. I swear I recognise him from somewhere, but I brushed this feeling off, there's no way I could know him. I moved to a new city just so I could be around people I didn't know. I mentally sighed, washing the thought of actually knowing this guy from my mind. There was one of them however that caught my attention the most. This was the singer, who also just so happened to be a guitarist. I stood there open mouthed as the boy opened and shut his mouth according to the words, a beautiful melodic pattern produced. His hair was black and straight, dyed and straightened I'm assuming, just like mine. It was longer at the front than at the back, causing his fringe to foreshadow the tips of his eyelids. He wore a long sleeved plain black shirt, and his skin-tight jeans were ripped so that you could see all of his knees. Around the top of them, there was a thick studded belt, not that this mattered, as his jeans weren't around his hips anyway, revealing the hem of a pair of black boxers underneath.

The song finished.

The singer laughed to himself, before clapping and proceeding to congratulate the rest of his group. "That was amazing guys! I seriously think we'll get a gig soon." He said, before his eyes sank and he turned to face the one thing that had now caught his and the rest of the bands attention.

Me.


End file.
